Top 10 Reasons Why Bulls are Struggling (Unofficial Version)

10. Only player who has consistently attended Cinjo’s layup clinics is Murph. Who? Erik Murphy, one of the rookies. He doesn’t really play. Oh…

9. Thibs too busy interviewing for Knicks head coaching job.

8. Neither Jo nor Jimmy can concentrate given the recent notoriety resulting from their starring roles in the commercial Weekend.

7. Overwhelmed and overworked given number of bad games and plays he has to splice together, the staff member responsible for all of “Thibs tapes” quits.

6. Playing Bulls body doubles until All-Star break, when “real” Bulls return to win remaining games, ascending to #3 in Eastern Conference.

5. Too many nights hanging with DRose at his penthouse in the Trump Tower leaves no time for sleep.

4. Trying to win record for team to score less than 80 points the greatest number of times in one season.

3. Someone misplaced the cones, so cannot do any drills at practice.

2. Nate Robinson put an “I told you so” spell on the Bulls since he’s still bitter about being traded.

1. Intentionally failing miserably so Thibs eventually has no other choice than to meet team’s demand to add Cinjo to the lineup.

In all seriousness, all I’m hoping for is improvement. OK, vast improvement. But at this stage, just a win. A win by one point, or a half point.

And please, please, let’s not be embarrassed on national TV, tonight, or tomorrow.

Go Bulls!

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