The Way to Beat the Heat

There’s only one answer. The Bulls need a shooter – mid-range jump shots, three-pointers, layups, reverse layups.

Only one star can bring them all that. It’s Cinjo.

Surely you jest?

Yup.

So I had a great day at the office. We rocked a client visit, everyone was happy, and while I had been up since 4 a.m., there’s nothing I was looking forward to more than the Bulls vs. Heat. I wanted to cap off my great day with another victory in the second half of the season.

However, since it was on national TV, and specifically, the dreaded TNT, I began to grow a little bit nervous. And on a Thursday night? The Bulls can only seem to win on national TV when it’s exactly 37 degrees on Fridays playing away games, and traditionally, at least 2-3 starters need to be out due to injuries.

Add that all up, and the Bulls have a fighting chance.

I was actually pretty impressed in the first quarter – with their ability to keep it close, or tied. Maybe they were even ahead. It seemed winnable.

But what ensued after that, with the turnovers, nobody being able to buy a basket, technical fouls, more turnovers. Well, it was more like a lesson in how NOT to play basketball.

When Benny the Bull (Bulls mascot) came in for Marquis Teaque, who was in for Nate Robinson, who’s the backup for the backup Kirk Hinrich, who’s been in (when he’s not recovering from an elbow thing every other week) for starting point guard DRose; when Benny came in, I thought there might be a chance.

Not sure what’s worse. The losing to bad teams on national TV (Bobcats, Hawks, name others, and the Bulls most certainly lost to them). Or, the losing badly to good teams.

Very very difficult to say. I better do a strategic assessment and report on the results in my next blog.

Chicago’s in a tizzy over “The Return.” Or, what I’m now calling, “Will he or won’t he.” And yesterday, DRose’s brother Reggie (manager???). I thought BJ Armstrong was his manager, or one of them. Anyhoo, his bro complained about the Bulls not making a trade to surround the star with players who can bring a championship to Chi-town.

Reggie Rose is right – the Bulls need another superstar to join Derrick. No trade necessary. She’s local, she comes pretty cheap. And on Thibs’ “level of mainentance scale,” unlike Rose, who is “no maintenance,” she’s on the other end – the “high mainentance” type player.

But I’m sure I could be good to go in no time. That is, if Jo gives me some guidance on how to wear my hair during the games, and Kirk and Rip advise on the type of face mask I’ll need to ensure my nose isn’t broken.

The Heat (that would be LeBron) doesn’t miss. The Bulls. Well, they miss. A lot. They need me.

In closing, I will say, that despite my disdain for the Heat, LeBron and everything about the team, I will NOT tolerate the boos when a player gets hurt. Philly did that to Jo last year in the playoffs. It’s classless. It’s not stand-up.

And the Bulls are a stand-up team that’s lost its way due to some type of mysterious, invisible covering which appears on the basket, both home, and away, but primarily at home.

So, tonight it’s the Bobcats. They’re not very good. But hope springs! It’s a Friday. Maybe it will be close to 37 degrees. Kirk will probably be out, and by game time, I’m sure Thibs will add another to the “game time decision” list. And certainly they won’t televise this one on national TV (not sure the Bulls will ever be on TNT again…). So, there may be a chance of a win tonight!

Stay tuned for my next blog, as I will certainly put my chipper hat back on, and take off these cranky pants. After all, the Bulls will be contacting me with an offer to join them soon, so I must get my mind and body in order.

PS — Last night wasn’t a total loss. UConn (men) beat Cincy! Way to go Huskies.

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